I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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