so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
