so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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