Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
