you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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