Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
