i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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