We won't sleep together?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize