Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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