If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
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It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize