I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
