I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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