So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
