I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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