it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
