Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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