We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
