I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
