yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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