Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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