I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
