You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
