He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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