That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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