Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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