I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
