I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
