Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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