Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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