I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
