it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
