So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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