I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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