Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Randomize