Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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