He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
