I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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