the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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