At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
50% drunk capacity currently
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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