Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
