she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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