i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize