Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
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We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
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All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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