Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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