best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
