I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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