cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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