dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
