Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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