wake up i wanna do it froggy style
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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