I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
