I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
