IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
