Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
His nipple licking is glorious
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