I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
