Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
