You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
