I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
