never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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